Woody’s Journey: Adolescents
How many of you would choose to go back through your teenage years if you could? I am sure there are very few of us who would! It is a difficult time. Trying to figure out who our true friends are, who is getting asked to prom, school, parents, sports, pressure to choose a career, etc., etc…. AND we were doing it with a brain that was changing so fast! Literally there is pruning happening in the brain during adolescence. And not only is the brain pruning itself, the last biggest brain growth occurs during this time. So know wonder our teens seem to “forget” everything they have learned!
I was told that when Woody hit his “adolescent” stage, it would feel like we were backtracking with his obedience training. Boy, they weren’t kidding! I feel like I’m working even harder just to keep his basic skills up! Some days it feels like I have simply wasted my time. I often feel discouraged and think he will never make it as a therapy dog. But I cannot quit. I keep at it. Woody was donated with purpose, so that keeps me accountable. There are moments when I feel like he will be okay, and moments when I feel he won’t be. But I will keep pushing on and reinforcing the things he has learned because he has an important job to do.
Another thing I have noticed about this adolescent time for Woody is that he will hold his head down if I scold him out of frustration. His reacts to my voice and tone and his posture is humbling. If I scold him, he will hold his head down in shame, but if I tell him he is a “good boy” when he does right, well, he responds to that too; looking in my eyes and wagging his tail. Research shows us that training dogs with positive reinforcement has better outcomes. In the end, it will pay off! And why wouldn’t I want that wagging, happy tail instead of his head down with shame. I want a relationship, a connection, with Woody. It is the best way to keep him motivated and to keep him safe. It is how I continue to build his trust. Sure, he loses his mind when people or other dogs come around , I mean, isn’t he suppose to? Don’t I want him to be relational? I just have to keep at it so he learns what is appropriate and what isn’t. And, with that connection and trust, he learns who is in charge and responds positively to my commands from the relationship and not from fear.
Woody is also developing his own personality. And that is really fun to see. He adores my son, and LOVES rides in the car! He has become quite the “diva” and will not go out to his normal spot to potty when it is raining, and he will try all the tricks he knows for just one bite of whatever you have on your plate. He adores ALL people and gets so excited when children come around. He also seems to recognize that it is time to be still when he is at my office. It is like he already knows that he is needed for comfort there. He is learning so much everyday and I am very thankful for him.
Tweens and teens are no different. They have so much happening in their brains PLUS the added hormones flooding their bodies. They are learning who they are and if you sit back and watch, you will start to see their “mature” selves start to emerge. Why would we not treat them with patience and kindness during such a difficult time and encourage the good things we see? They need our support while at the same time trying to push us away and become their own person. It is hard to navigate, no doubt, but so much joy can come from just watching them “become”. So, the next time you feel like “scolding” or yelling at a kid because you have told them for the “millionth” time to clean their room…. remember, kids will respond better, just like Woody, when we are positively reinforcing behaviors we want and building felt safety from relationship and connections, not fear.
